Comments on: the lessons we learn

By: fran

fran — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 17:40:51 +0000

we can’t choose the way lessons come to us, can we? jason, i think we need to run hebrew school (sans the hebrew language acquisition) together.

thanks for inspiring reflection,
f

By: Jason Seiden

Jason Seiden — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:45:40 +0000

Fran, true positives rarely come in bows, do they? There is a reason we have the word “bittersweet,” and why it’s so commonly used in reference to a person’s memory.

It’s all in the interpretation. It’s all in the perspective. It’s all in what you make of it.

One of the things I love about Jewish history is that all of the heroes are fallible—some of them insanely so. (I use that word purposefully.) The lessons we learn from them are (1) never expect someone to be perfect, and, more importantly, (2) look to yourself, not to others, to solve your problems. You may not do better than they did, but you certainly won’t do worse, either.

Heroes who leave us picking and choosing for ourselves what to take from their examples is the best we’re going to get in this imperfect world. And that’s to say nothing about when those heroes are family.

All my best, Fran, and my heartfelt appreciation for a thought provoking and emotional post.

By: fran

fran — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 13:18:03 +0000

exactly! the lessons are not always directly transferred, spoken, or even positive, but they are there if we wish to find them. another lesson from mom when discussing parenting: we aim to do better than the generation before us.

By: Paul Hebert

Paul Hebert — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 12:13:56 +0000

Every negative is a positive in disguise. We can focus on what was wrong, or we can multiply by -1 and come out with a positive.

Not to get all mushy but my father never hugged his three boys (he did the three girls) and never said the “L-word” to us “men.”

Different generation I guess.

But what I took from that was – “always hug your kids and tell them you love them no matter what – and do it often.”

I have two kids – they may complain some day that Dad hugged them too much – but that’s a risk I’m willing to take (odds are they won’t!)

Not all positives have bows and hearts around them. Sometimes you need to do a little mental calculus to see the real lesson.